Offended

I’ve been realizing more and more that being offended is a choice.  And really, when I concentrate so much on a person who offends me, I’m not able to concentrate on God or where He’s leading me.  I’m spending too much time and energy thinking about how I’ve been offended.  I’m thankful that God doesn’t do that with me.  I’ve given Him plenty to be offended about.  I heard Michael W. Smith speaking on a video once and he said something like, “I’ve made it my goal to never be offended by another person again.”  That really made me think!  How often do I get bent out of shape by another’s actions or attitudes when my focus really just needs to be on Jesus and running this race He’s called me to, and to extending the grace that’s been given to me.

– Susie Stewart

 

Therefore, I accept weakness, mistreatment, hardship, persecution, and difficulties suffered for Christ. It’s clear that when I’m weak, I’m strong.

– 2 Corinthians 12:10 (GW)

 

In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer.

– Psalm 109:4 (ESV)

 

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

– John 8:36 (ESV)

 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

– Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)

 

Photo taken by Arik Stewart

 

1 Year Ago Today…

1 year ago today I was diagnosed with cancer.

I want to thank God for preserving my life and bringing our family through a difficult year.  As I look back at pictures from the past year I think of it all as a journey of growth, tears, strengthening, and lots of love.  I share some of them here with you to bring my Savior Jesus glory for His goodness, His faithfulness, and His love for me, for my family, and for every person young or old that goes through cancer.

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Right after I was diagnosed, special gifts, texts, calls, emails and FB messages started pouring in. What an encouragement! This fruit bouquet came from Dave & Rebecca, my cousin and his wife.

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Thank you for the love!

Psalm 112:7

“He will have no fear of bad new;  his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”

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Our son Arik headed to college a couple weeks after diagnosis. Such mixed emotions.

Psalm 18:28

“You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning;  my God turns my darkness into light.”

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Our daughter Nicole shared her testimony, which included my recent diagnosis, at Fields of Faith, a teen event, about a week after my lumpectomy surgery.

Psalm 46:1

“God is our Refuge and Strength, an ever-present Help in trouble.”

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Andy took me on a getaway to San Francisco before radiation.

Psalm 55:22

“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you, He will never let the righteous fall.”

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My sweet neighbor Chloe in The Race for the Cure.

John 5:17

“Jesus said to them, ‘My Father is always at His work, to this very day, and I , too, am working.”

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End of radiation celebration. We didn’t yet know I needed chemo.

John 10:27

“My sheep listen to my voice;  I know them and they follow me.”

Hat & Scarf party put on by my sister-in-law Rayna the day before my head was shaved. What a wonderful show of love and support. I used these hats and scarfs to keep warm all through the winter.

Psalm 94:18,19

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping’, Your love, O Lord, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.”

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First chemo treatment with daughter Nicole.

Psalm 42:5

“Why so downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your trust in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.”

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Nicole bravely shaved my head before the hair started really falling out two weeks after chemo started.

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Trying to get used to the new norm.

Trying to get used to the new norm.

2 Corinthians 4:8

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;  perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned;  struck down, but not destroyed.”

Wig-wearing began.

Wig-wearing began.

2 Corinthians 4:18

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

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Reading during chemo.

Ephesians 1:3

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.”

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6 chemo treatments 3 weeks apart.  My special "chemo-sabis" with me each time.

6 chemo treatments 3 weeks apart. My special “chemo-sabis” with me each time.

Psalm 138:8

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;  Your love, O Lord, endures forever –  Do not abandon the works of your hands.”

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Time with my friend Don as he was going through chemo too at the same place.

2 Timothy 1:7

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

So very thankful for my faithful husband, so loving and encouraging in sickness and in health.

So very thankful for my faithful husband, so loving and encouraging in sickness and in health.

Psalm 3:3

“But You are a shield around me, O Lord;  You bestow glory on me and lift up my head.”

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Christmas morning holding a beautiful scarf my son brought me from his December missions trip to India.

Psalm 18:1,2

“I love You, O Lord, my Strength.  The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress and my Deliverer, my God is my Rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my Shield and the Horn of my Salvation, my Stronghold.”

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Never thought I’d be balder than my sweet dad. 🙂

Isaiah 40:29

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

End of chemo family celebration!

End of chemo family celebration! I am thankful beyond words for my family’s support!

Hebrews 13:8

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”

Starting to grow hair back.

Starting to grow hair back.

Isaiah 49:23

“…then you will know that I am the Lord;  those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

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By God’s grace I was able to go back to Africa in June, feeling good, and co-leading our True Impact Ministries team with my husband Andy! What a gift!

Isaiah 58:9-11

“…If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like the noonday.  The Lord will guide you always;  He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”

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2 Corinthians 5:7

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”

One of the blessings of this journey has been meeting other cancer survivors and sharing experiences together.

One of the blessings of this journey has been meeting other cancer survivors and sharing experiences together.

Philippians 1:6

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Spending time alone with the Lord in the beautiful Colorado mountains.

Spending time alone with the Lord in the beautiful Colorado mountains.

Isaiah 26:3,4

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you.

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.”

– Susie Stewart

Listen

Deuteronomy 30:20 “…love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.”

I want to hear Him.

Listening can be difficult at times.  Life gets loud and complicated.  But deep calls to deep (Ps. 42:7).

Earlier today my home was quiet.  I asked the Lord to speak through me as I typed my first blog on this site.  I listened with my heart and I spent much time bringing thoughts and Scripture together.

Everything I typed….disappeared.

No explanation.  Just gone.  As hard as I tried, I couldn’t retrieve it, from my computer or from my brain.

Big, big sigh.  This, my first blog on my own site, just vanished.

While I was drawing near to God, while I was listening, while I was absorbing….things took a turn.  This was not the plan I had.  I was going to click a button, publish those words, and there you have it.  But I just couldn’t make it work…

That’s what happened to me in life.  Life took a turn.  Things were going along relatively smoothly.  But then cancer.

I didn’t want to shift this way!  I wanted things to go along the way I envisioned.  Was life now clouded and dark and hard?  Would the good memories of joyful times just disappear, like my typed words, as if they hadn’t happened?  It really depended on my trust in the One leading me.

My Shepherd is Jesus.  I know His voice.

 “…His sheep follow Him because they know His voice.”  John 10:4

My Shepherd promises me that He works all things for my good.  He promises never to leave me or forsake me.  He promises purpose for my life.  I want His purposes to be mine.  (Romans 8:28; Deuteronomy 31:6; Psalm 138:8)

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”  Proverbs 19:21

Following my Shepherd even when life takes a turn, that takes pliability.  Trust is key.  Listening in the midst of the noise is important, and can be difficult.

“Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…”  Psalm 95:7

I have come through surgery, radiation and chemo.  Things are looking good at this point.  I will keep clinging and praying and listening.

As I bring this new blog to you, my friends, I will be seeking HIM.  I will be looking to bring words of wisdom, of encouragement, of real life.  I want to be pliable as I do it.  After all, I am following the Leader.

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By the way, in the middle of the night, after a bit of sleep, the first blog I wrote started coming back to me.  I got out of bed, typed it up, and it will come next time.  Things didn’t go the way I planned, but there was purpose in it.  After all, the blog above wouldn’t have happened if things hadn’t taken a turn……

– Susie Stewart

(My blog from the last 7 months:  www.mylifeline.org/susiestewart)