That’s about how long I’ve been a mama.
That’s how long it will be before our firstborn ventures to Australia for 5 months to study abroad.
That’s how long until our second born leaves home to go to college.
That’s how long it has been since we adopted our youngest.
Just numbers. Right?
Not when love runs deep.
Those numbers represent memories, love, pain, laughter, tears, joy, anguish, learning and growing, moments big and small.
The everyday days of the past 20+ years don’t seem so ordinary any more.
I’m a mother, and just like Mary, I treasure all these things in my heart. They are like a gift to my consciousness, recalling a storehouse of memories at will.
“I have 43 days until I go to college, Mama!” she says, as she records all the exciting upcoming dates in her new planner.
Her excitement is palpable. This is what my husband and I have been preparing her for. Preparing all three of them for. To take flight. To be independent. To move on.
To move forward.
My heels find themselves digging in as if I’m being dragged to this finish line instead of sprinting exuberantly toward it.
I must continue to allow Your Spirit, Lord, to grow and change me for each new season. Each new day.
Life is always changing; My second born and I discuss this. You can’t keep anything just the way it is no matter how hard you try.
And that’s a good thing.
Change is inevitable and God is good.
Children need to grow up, to become independent, to make a difference.
Parents need to move on. To shift some of their focus. To remember what is most important.
My relationship with my Heavenly Father is of the utmost importance. Above any other relationship. His gracious Fatherly love is eternal and He knows me.
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb…” (Jer. 1:5)
Just like my mama heart longs for time with my children, God longs for us, His children. He loves so completely and so overwhelmingly. His love is like ocean waves that continue to wash up on our shores. Unrelenting.
As my children grow, Lord, give me grace and peace for their changing seasons. Give me your strength and joy for each of my own seasons, especially where they are concerned.
Thank you, God, for life. None of us knows how many seconds, minutes, hours, days or years we have here. Help us make the most of it for Your glory.
– Susie Stewart
Photo taken by Susie stewart