Writing

Arik

/ Susie Stewart / 2 Comments

Matthew 7:7-12

7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

How does God see His children?

Think about how you see your own.  Good parents love and nurture their children from the very first cry.  Our oldest, Arik, was born after I spent almost two weeks in the hospital with premature labor.  When he was born I felt a depth of emotion unique to everything else up to that point.  I looked into those little eyes, and cuddled that little one, whose premature little body could fit on a washcloth.  I have watched that handsome boy grown into a man, almost twenty now.  All along the way there have been moments when I’m connecting with him through conversation and I get lost in those beautiful blue eyes.  I tell him they are blue like the sea.  My mama heart skips a little beat thinking of the years looking into those eyes, and being filled up with so much love that I feel that I could burst.

Sounds so dramatic, right?

That’s how parental love is.  It is dramatic and it is fierce and it is so profound that you can hardly put it into words.  You just want to stare at your child because you are so taken aback with the depth of love you have in your heart for them.

God put it there.

That beautiful love is a reflection of our Heavenly Father’s heart for us.  But that’s just it.  It’s only a reflection.  The love He has for us is infinitely deeper and more profound because it originated from Him.  And, as you see in the verses above, our love for our own children is tainted by evil.  God’s love is pure and even so much more profound.

You are God’s child.  He is staring into your eyes as you talk to Him.  He thinks they are beautiful.  He remembers when you were small and how you’ve grown into adulthood.  He was there all along, your Father.

He wants us all to know this love of His.  To know it!  Not just to say “God loves me” but for us to know it!

The amazing thing is that the unique parental love you can have for one child can envelope many more, biological and not.  The love I have for Arik, I also have when I look into my girls’ dark brown lovely eyes.

“For God so loved the world…”  Parental love envelopes.

Someone once said that the eyes are the window to the soul…. Whether we want Him to or not, God sees down into our souls?  Why not surrender to that love and soak it up?  We need it.

I love you Arik, Nicole and Victoria.  I’m blessed to be your mom.

– Susie Stewart

 

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Photo taken by Susie Stewart

Run

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

As I was running this morning…..  Never thought I’d hear myself say that in this lifetime.  I decided to take up running a few months after chemo ended.  My family didn’t believe I would actually do it.  But I am.  The beautiful, serene, early mornings have been soothing to the soul, not so much the lungs.  But I’m thankful to be able to get out there!

So, as I was running this morning I was thanking God for some of His limitless attributes.  “I’m thankful (huff, huff) for your faithfulness.  I’m thankful for your love.  I’m thankful for your goodness.  I’m thankful for your gentleness and kindness…”  Pause.  Deep sigh.  It seems that whenever I contemplate God’s gentleness and kindness, I sigh.  Truly, how wonderful is our God that loves us with a gentle and kind Spirit?  You can’t get any more well-rounded in character than God, so these attributes mesh with His justice and even His holy wrath.  Thankfully, God Almighty’s love extended to us through His Son Jesus.  God the Son, perfect and righteous, satisfies the holiness of God.  And guess what He told us when He was here on earth?  “…I am gentle and humble in heart…”  Sigh.

Jesus relieves the stress between God and humans.  Jesus brings relief to our spirits.  Soak in that relief if you are a follower of Him.

Sigh because your Savior is gentle and kind.

I love you, Jesus.  Thank you.

– Susie Stewart

(Matthew 11:28-30)

 

Katy

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

 

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

I thought of my friend Katy as I read through these verses this morning.  Katy is a college student and has been working through college to pay for her education.  She is dependent on herself and no one else.  Back up.  It would appear that she is dependent on herself, but her hope for her future and for funds comes from a deep trust in God.  It’s not always easy to trust, though.  Jesus even says at the end of the above passage that each day has “trouble”. Katy struggles to know if she will be able to pay the bills, what she will do when she graduates soon, whether she can pay her school loans….

This very-familiar passage above intrigues me.  As I put the words of Scripture into my own words on paper, I asked Jesus, the one who said these things, “What do you mean by this?  You say ‘do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.’  Those are kind of essential things.  We need to eat.  We need to drink water.  We need to cover up.  Can’t get much more basic than that.  Seems like people should be concerned with those kinds of things…”  Jesus points out that He feeds the birds and “clothes” the flowers beautifully.  He says, “Are you not much more valuable than they?”  So, Lord, we are valuable to You.  This I believe deeply.  We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and You “knit us together”.  We have value because of the value You placed on us.  Not because of anything we did or hope to do.  But here I go, off into a side subject.  Back to worry.  I don’t believe Jesus’ point is “who cares about whether you eat or drink or wear clothes or pay your bills or get a good job…”  His main point seems to be right at the end of this passage in verse 33.  “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Jesus understands.  He not only made us, so He knows what our thoughts and emotions are regarding the stresses of life, but He also experienced them while here on earth.  If you jump ahead to Matthew 8:20 you see that He didn’t even have a bed to call His own.

Katy works hard to provide for herself and to get an education.  Money is tight, but her eyes are focused where they should be, on Jehovah-Jireh.  That’s Hebrew for “God our Provider”. That’s why she asks me to pray for her needs.

Some of you may be thinking, “Americans are the richest people in the world!  What do they have to worry about?”  Well, it’s our tendency as humans from any walk of life to worry when things don’t look so promising.  Even when things DO look promising, we can gravitate toward worry.  But I’ve seen Africans with virtually nothing lean into God’s loving arms of providence for their daily bread.  They are seeking Him first.  He provides.  I’ve witnessed wealthy people who are completely bankrupt emotionally and spiritually because they chose to seek wealth first, instead of God.  We all need to remember that it could all be gone instantly.  None of it is worth holding in a tight fist.

I encourage those of us who know God to make our relationship with Him priority over our stuff and even over our needs.  “All these things will be added to you.”  And how about we all make ourselves available to be used of God to help others who need food, water, shelter?  Being used of God is a blessing and a joy.  Ask Him what you should do to help.  He’ll show you.

Love you, Katy!  I’m proud of you.  ❤

– Susie Stewart

It’s a Secret

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

I like to get to the point.  I’m not one for a lot of small talk.  I like the way Jesus gets to the point.

I’ve been reading His teachings when he spoke to crowds from a mountainside.  It’s the part in Matthew where my Bible’s pages are covered in red print, the words of my Savior.  Matthew 5, 6 and 7 are sectioned into tidy topics.  With good reason.  There do seem to be distinct topics.  But when I look at those chapters as a whole, I see that one of the many underlying themes is secrecy.  Jesus makes it plain as day that we need to do things in secret.  When we give to the needy, when we pray, when we fast, it shouldn’t ever be to gain attention from people.  All of it should be directed toward God, to draw us closer to Him, and to bring Him glory.

“Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be see by them…when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the street, to be honored by men…do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.”

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men…but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen…”

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting…when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father , who is unseen…”

And then the promise that is in all three sections:

“…then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

I want to get to the place where I only care what God thinks!  Sure it’s good to be aware of how people perceive me, but I want to only care if I have the approval of the King of Glory.  If I am doing what I know He approves of, then my interactions with people will  follow suit.  “By their fruit you will recognize them,” it says in Matthew 7.  I’m not recognized by people as a follower of Jesus by my eloquent prayers, or how I give to those in need, or my fasting practices.  I’m recognized by supernatural fruit.  Yes, supernatural.  Sounds tasty, and it is.  Supernatural fruit in a person’s life, evidence that Christ lives in them, is visible to Believer and Non.  It is the sweetness of a loving God.  It shows where our hearts are.

Vine, branch, fruit.

Secrecy, promise, reward.

Simple, right?  Not so much.  We are creatures that typically like to draw attention to ourselves.

Lord, less of me and more of You!  Let my actions, words and thoughts be full of you and let the “overflow of my heart” be evidence of my time with You, for Your glory, and Yours alone.  I love you, Jesus.

– Susie Stewart

 

Africa

/ Susie Stewart / 1 Comment

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.  But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.  For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant;  its blossom falls and withers the plant;  its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed.  In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

– James 1:9-11

 

I read these words this morning.  While I am still seeking God’s wisdom in all the meaning here, I think I have a pretty good concept of what He is getting at.  My family, along with a team from different parts of the U.S., just returned from Uganda.  This was personally my 6th time going, as my husband and I lead a ministry that serves there.

We have witnessed unbelievable poverty and need.

We have witnessed unbelievable riches, too.

The riches have nothing to do with material wealth.  It is a wealth of the spirit.  It is deep-seated joy.  It is a depth of relationship with Jehovah Jireh, God our Provider, who provides our daily bread.  It is relational depth with family and friends where posessions don’t take first place.

“The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position…”  It’s interesting how God sees things upside down from the way we do.  All throughout scripture you can see His heart for the poor.  He says that it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven (Matt. 19:24).  Riches weigh down.  Riches distract.  Riches pull us away from what is important.  Riches can make us complacent.  Riches can make us not depend on God.

It’s all a facade, though.  God has always been the One who provides it all.  Our spirits long to be dependent and find solace in Jehovah Jireh, but we are blinded.

“But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower…”

Will our legacies as “rich Americans” be as selfISH or selfLESS people?  Will we walk with God or walk with stuff?

I am positionally in a lowly position in God’s scheme of things.  Humility is required.

Thank you to so many of my brothers and sisters in Africa for modeling what riches are truly made of.

– Susie Stewart

 

2 Corinthians 8:9 “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.”

http://www.trueimpactministries.com

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Photo taken by Susie Stewart

Lyla

/ Susie Stewart / 3 Comments

“We as a family are saddened, but also at peace knowing that God is in control.”

I read over those words in a message from my cousin Scott today.  His mother, my Aunt Lyla, was just diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer.  My heart is heavy because I love Lyla.  She shines Jesus.

As I thought about writing something about this very difficult news on my mom’s side of the family, the word from this sentence of Scott’s message that has stayed in my head, amazingly,  is “but”.  This tiny, little three letter word.

It is the word that seemingly connects heaven and earth right now.

We as a family are saddened, BUT…

Not everyone says this little word when there is a cancer diagnosis.  Only God makes this word possible.  Only God.

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There is sorrow and there is suffering here.  
 But.
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair…”  2 Corinthians 4:8
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Our hearts and minds grow faint with grief.  
But.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33
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Life is hard here.
But.
“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body….”  Philippians 3:20
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Bad news will come.
But.
“They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”  Psalm 112:7
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Life doesn’t always go the way we planned.
But.
“‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord…”  Jeremiah 29:11
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Life seems to have kicked me down.
But.
“But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.”  2 Corinthians 2:14
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My Aunt Lyla.  “She’s an amazing example of God’s peace and comfort. She’s confident in her faith and knows life doesn’t end here,” Scott says of his mother.  That’s because she knows she is a victor, no matter what!
“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  1 Corinthians 15:57
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And here is why…….  “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son…”  Galatians 4:4
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Heaven and earth connected.  
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I love you, Aunt Lyla.  You are an example of Christ to me and countless people who love you.  You may have been given a diagnosis, but you are a victor, conqueror, dearly loved by God, redeemed, precious.  You are in the palm of His hand, just as you have always been.
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– Susie Stewart
Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest.
– Hebrews 3:1
Back Row: Jay, David, Jerry. Middle Row: Marti, Ruth, Mary. Front Row: Sam & Lyla

Back Row: Jay, David, Jerry. Middle Row: Marti, Ruth, Mary. Front Row: Sam & Lyla

Photos taken by Scott Knutson

What’s In A Name?

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

I learn from observing people. Some of those people enlighten me and cause me to grow. I seek to be more like them because they inspire me. My close friend Rebecca is just that type of person. She is wise and funny and has a non-cutting sarcastic way about her. She is unique and I love to be around her. One of the numerous things that I have noticed about her over the years is the way she greets people, all people.   She names the person by name and emphasizes that name with the slightest bit of a song to her voice. “Hi SuSIE!” with a big smile and a friendly laugh. People usually put the emphasis on the “HI” part. It may seem like such a small detail, but it is major in my mind. I think that most people don’t notice the way she says it, but they know how she makes them feel. They feel valued, loved, greeted warmly, called by name with enthusiasm. I want to be like that. I want people to know that I remember their names and that I care when I see them.

God’s Word says that Jesus calls us by name. I imagine in my mind, my Savior, calling me by name with His hand outstretched. It warms my heart to the core. It also sometimes gives me pause because there are SO many people in this world and I am just one. Does He really care to call me “Susie”, reach out His hand to me, and with laughter and a trace of a song in His voice, beckon me to come along with Him?

Yes.

Say it again, Suz.

Yes.

Isaiah 45:3 “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”

Let Him call you by name. No walls. Just let Him.

What’s in a name? Much. If you go to http://www.biblegateway.com and search for the word “name” in Scripture, you will have close to 950 verses that mention that word. The Bible speaks much about the almighty name of God. It also speaks a lot about our names, their meanings, where they are written.

My name is written on His heart. I am His beloved. My name is written in His book of life. It gives me peace.

May His Name be honored and glorified in my life. May I reach out to others speaking their names with light and life in my voice.

– Susie Stewart

 

John 20:31 “But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

Revelation 3:12 “The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name.”

Psalm 86:11 “Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.”

Jeremiah 15:16 “When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty.”

Revelation 20:15 “Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.”

 

Photo taken by Andy Stewart

 

Exile

/ Susie Stewart / 1 Comment

 

Are you on an island?

Has life caused you to be isolated?

Is there an aloneness that is tangible in your heart?

Pain and suffering, change, betrayal, loss….

John was on an island.  He was exiled to the island of Patmos.  Christians were going through a time of persecution and those who held that Christ, not Caesar, was Lord, were facing hostility.  John was sent to Patmos as punishment for his faith.

In his exile, God showed up.

His eyes were opened to the realm of the supernatural, of things to come.  Imprisoned on an island, away from the people and places that he loved, the Lord of the future overwhelmingly revealed Himself and His plan to John.

The book of Revelation is so stunning that it takes my breath away at times!  The things written in this book, so distinct and curious, are a taste of the judgment and the wonder to come.  John was overcome.  He says, “When I saw Him, I fell at His feet as though dead.  Then He placed His right hand on me and said:  ‘Do not be afraid.  I am the First and the Last.  I am the Living One;  I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever!'”

There was a point in my chemo journey when I realized that I was an exile like John.  On a much smaller scale, mind you, but I felt it nonetheless.  Because of the winter season, wanting to stay away from germs, and because of feeling bad physically, I was home most of the time over the course of a few months.  I was home, and I was bald.  While I was grateful for a warm home, it felt like the walls were closing in on me at times.

God opened my eyes to my island.

What I did with my time came into sharper focus and I longed to be closer to God.

I determined that I didn’t want to waste my exile.

Sowing aloneness can reap growth.  Sowing aloneness can also reap self-pity, discouragement, resentment….

What I set my mind and heart on determines what I sow.  I know because I have sown both.

“Set your mind on things above, not on things on this earth,” God’s Word says in Colossians 3:2.

I have found that in exile, determination to follow truth and to follow hard after God take discipline.  It takes a “setting” of the mind.  Your mind and heart will be pulled away if you don’t.

“So let us come near to God with an honest and true heart. Let us come near with a faith that is sure and strong….”  Hebrews 10:22

My prayer for you is that you will draw near to God in your exile, and there He will share with you His amazing love and His undeniable truth.

– Susie Stewart

 

(photo of the island of Patmos courtesy of bibleplaces.com)

Falling (by my son, Arik Stewart)

/ Susie Stewart / 3 Comments

Falling

 Once more you pulled against the nails, lifting yourself as the splinters scraped your torn shoulders. The thorns at your temples were nothing compared to the agony at your wrists. A last breath, and with it, you gasped a cry through the echoing universe. Your head dropped, your soul carrying the weight of the entire world into death.

I imagine you falling. I see you as a light crushed under the strain of all evil, dropping down into the darkness. A falling star thundering into oblivion. And for three days you fell through the terrors of wrath, enduring flames and shadow.

Until finally you arrived.

I felt the bedrock of damnation tremble under my feet as you touched down. Nothing less than the thunder of a million strands of lightning colliding with the ground. Yet, as you were consumed by the greatest punishment of all, you endured. Though the light had been ripped from my soul, your’s survived the tortures.

You found me broken and alone, the radiance of salvation gleaming through your eyes. As you neared, the loneliness and hopelessness of all eternity began to retreat and the surrounding darkness drew back into itself, fearful of your awesome power.

Taking your hand, I felt its warmth and life, fully aware of the coldness and death of my own. But something happened. You took on my darkness. You pulled it into yourself and endured its terrible price, destroying it forever. You put your hand to my heart and ignited the flame within, making it stronger than ever before. The light returned to my soul and I began to breathe.

Then we rose.

– Arik Stewart

Photo of Alek taken by Arik Stewart