Glory Through The Darkness

So here we are again

five years after the first time,

 

cancer has made its ugly appearance

in my body yet again

 

And people wonder how I’m doing…

 

The news felt like a rude sucker punch

mixed with a river of sorrow

 

and yet

I had a feeling that was the diagnosis I would hear

 

Once again my husband and I held one another

and cried

and have stayed close to one another since the news came

 

Our children were told

and they were stunned,

sorrowful,

and older and braver than last time

 

My parents

supported with such love

and tenderness

and words deep

 

My brother and his wife

came right over

with food love

and flowers sweet

and listening ears

 

Phone calls were made

and friends were told

and they offered up unbelievable support and love

endless

 

And people wonder

how am I feeling?

 

I feel

sad

and  I feel thankful

and I feel strong

in my sorrow

 

And I am keenly aware

once again

that all the people care,

 

but my deepest need

is for my Jesus

 

In all of this

I can’t get my mind off of the One

who is my Rock

my Comfort

my Everything

 

And it’s me

and it’s Him

eyes locked on one another

 

My good

and His glory

are

ALWAYS

His intent

 

And I walk forward

taking one day at a time

just like we all do

 

yet

with a sharper focus

on every

little

thing

 

I pray with all my might

that healing would be mine

 

and I know He’s heard every word

 

And the sentiments I penned

one day before diagnosis

are true in the valley of the shadow ~

 

“My relationship

with the Lord of the Universe

is new

freeing

and vibrant”

 

Cancer is ugly

God is my freedom

 

His unchanging character

did not flinch

 

when I was diagnosed with cancer

once again

 

and I can’t imagine

walking this road

without Him

 

My life is still

for HIM,

not for me

 

Not what He does

for me

 

This is such a broken world, friends

 

And you hear and experience bad news

every

single

day

 

The signs are pointing

to the earth groaning

in preparation

for Jesus’ return

 

Be ready

 

And don’t get hung up

on whether God is good or not

when bad things happen

 

tossed and turned in your faith

by bad news

 

God warned us

of trials

and tribulations

and pain

 

and attacks from our circling

and preying

and vicious enemy

 

Stay with God

and do not be swayed by your feelings

about why He lets certain things happen

 

What kind of God would He be

if He claimed to be Love

and claimed to be good

and claimed to be just

and claimed to be ALL the things He claimed to be

 

and then forfeited it all

by allowing trials in a Christ-Follower’s life?

 

It’s not possible

 

He is perfect

and His ways are right

 

And what a patient and amazing God

to reach into our broken world

 

and provide salvation from it?

 

I choose to rest in Him

in this cancer journey

 

And believe what you will,

but I have been singing His praises with joy

since I got up this morning

 

– Susie Stewart

 

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.  Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.

– Romans 8:22, 23 (NIV)

 

Jesus Christ is [eternally changeless, always] the same yesterday and today and forever.

– Hebrews 13:8 (AMP)

 

But as for me, I will sing about Your power.
    Each morning I will sing with joy about Your unfailing love.
For You have been my refuge,
    a place of safety when I am in distress.

– Psalm 59:16 (NLT)

 

Photo by Susie Stewart

 

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Comments

  1. What a disappointment, God will certainly be with you. I pray for your successful treatment.

    Reply

  2. Praying for you and for God to work His miracles in you and through you during this time of trial. We love you and we trust in His deep love for you as our source of strength and hope.

    Reply

  3. Susie, you have chosen the best portion–Jesus. He is our life sustainer, healer, deliverer, bright morning star, refuge, help and comfort. He is the Prince of Shalom (wholeness and completeness with nothing broken or missing). His love for you cancels all fear. Blessings of abundant life and health through Christ!

    Reply

  4. Dear Susie,

    I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Please know that I am praying for you and your family. I wish I had words to make it all go away for you. Since I can’t, I will turn my words toward our Savior in prayer.

    Thank you for yours posts. Sometimes I wonder if you are peeking into my heart. So often your words are just what I need to hear.

    Thank you, dear one, Love and prayers

    Mary DuCharme

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Reply

  5. Another gem from your heart which I shared. May God’s perfect peace continue to flood over you in the days ahead!

    Reply

  6. You and your family are in my prayers.

    Reply

  7. I’m saddened to hear of your recurrence. Prayers for healing, prayers for your family.

    Reply

  8. Susie:
    I am so saddened about your news. Please know that I am holding you in my prayers. God is the great healer and I am praying for complete healing for you. I am praying for your family as I know they are devastated by this news also. Your mom and I were great friends in high school and she has shown us all such great faith. Cancer is so tough but as you know our Lord can carry us through and never leaves our side. Why you have to go through this again we may never know but know we love your sharing God’s word with us and it means a lot to me. Prayers, Chelsea

    Reply

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