So here we are again
five years after the first time,
cancer has made its ugly appearance
in my body yet again
And people wonder how I’m doing…
The news felt like a rude sucker punch
mixed with a river of sorrow
and yet
I had a feeling that was the diagnosis I would hear
Once again my husband and I held one another
and cried
and have stayed close to one another since the news came
Our children were told
and they were stunned,
sorrowful,
and older and braver than last time
My parents
supported with such love
and tenderness
and words deep
My brother and his wife
came right over
with food love
and flowers sweet
and listening ears
Phone calls were made
and friends were told
and they offered up unbelievable support and love
endless
And people wonder
how am I feeling?
I feel
sad
and I feel thankful
and I feel strong
in my sorrow
And I am keenly aware
once again
that all the people care,
but my deepest need
is for my Jesus
In all of this
I can’t get my mind off of the One
who is my Rock
my Comfort
my Everything
And it’s me
and it’s Him
eyes locked on one another
My good
and His glory
are
ALWAYS
His intent
And I walk forward
taking one day at a time
just like we all do
yet
with a sharper focus
on every
little
thing
I pray with all my might
that healing would be mine
and I know He’s heard every word
And the sentiments I penned
one day before diagnosis
are true in the valley of the shadow ~
“My relationship
with the Lord of the Universe
is new
freeing
and vibrant”
Cancer is ugly
God is my freedom
His unchanging character
did not flinch
when I was diagnosed with cancer
once again
and I can’t imagine
walking this road
without Him
My life is still
for HIM,
not for me
Not what He does
for me
This is such a broken world, friends
And you hear and experience bad news
every
single
day
The signs are pointing
to the earth groaning
in preparation
for Jesus’ return
Be ready
And don’t get hung up
on whether God is good or not
when bad things happen
tossed and turned in your faith
by bad news
God warned us
of trials
and tribulations
and pain
and attacks from our circling
and preying
and vicious enemy
Stay with God
and do not be swayed by your feelings
about why He lets certain things happen
What kind of God would He be
if He claimed to be Love
and claimed to be good
and claimed to be just
and claimed to be ALL the things He claimed to be
and then forfeited it all
by allowing trials in a Christ-Follower’s life?
It’s not possible
He is perfect
and His ways are right
And what a patient and amazing God
to reach into our broken world
and provide salvation from it?
I choose to rest in Him
in this cancer journey
And believe what you will,
but I have been singing His praises with joy
since I got up this morning
– Susie Stewart
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.
– Romans 8:22, 23 (NIV)
Jesus Christ is [eternally changeless, always] the same yesterday and today and forever.
– Hebrews 13:8 (AMP)
But as for me, I will sing about Your power.
Each morning I will sing with joy about Your unfailing love.
For You have been my refuge,
a place of safety when I am in distress.
– Psalm 59:16 (NLT)
Photo by Susie Stewart
Susie Stewart 
Praying
Thank you, Raluca ❤
What a disappointment, God will certainly be with you. I pray for your successful treatment.
Thank you, Ruth ❤ Thankful to be in this place.
Praying for you and for God to work His miracles in you and through you during this time of trial. We love you and we trust in His deep love for you as our source of strength and hope.
Thank you, Brian and Leslie! So love you guys and thank you for your faithful prayers. God is good and I’m healing a little more each day. Always trusting!
Susie, you have chosen the best portion–Jesus. He is our life sustainer, healer, deliverer, bright morning star, refuge, help and comfort. He is the Prince of Shalom (wholeness and completeness with nothing broken or missing). His love for you cancels all fear. Blessings of abundant life and health through Christ!
Your words speak of a deep and abiding relationship with Christ. Thank you for your encouragement and wisdom! I am healing well from surgery and it appears that all cancer has been removed. Praise God! His love truly does cancel all fear. Blessings, friend.
Praise God for successful surgery. May you feel the love of God surrounding you as you heal. By the stripes of Jesus we have been healed. He sticks close to us. You are precious in his sight. Love and prayers!
Dear Susie,
I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Please know that I am praying for you and your family. I wish I had words to make it all go away for you. Since I can’t, I will turn my words toward our Savior in prayer.
Thank you for yours posts. Sometimes I wonder if you are peeking into my heart. So often your words are just what I need to hear.
Thank you, dear one, Love and prayers
Mary DuCharme
Sent from my iPad
>
Thank you, Mary, for your love and prayers ❤ We are so thankful for the outcome in all of this. Healing well each day. I pray that God continues to peek into your heart with my blogs. 🙂 Love you, friend.
Another gem from your heart which I shared. May God’s perfect peace continue to flood over you in the days ahead!
Thank you, Diana ❤ God's perfect peace has been all over this current journey of mine. Thank you for your prayers!
You and your family are in my prayers.
Thank you, Shelly! I’m healing well from surgery and it appears that all of the cancer was removed. ❤
I’m saddened to hear of your recurrence. Prayers for healing, prayers for your family.
Thank you, Joe. I’m thankful to say that it appears all cancer was removed with surgery. I so appreciate the healing prayers.
Susie:
I am so saddened about your news. Please know that I am holding you in my prayers. God is the great healer and I am praying for complete healing for you. I am praying for your family as I know they are devastated by this news also. Your mom and I were great friends in high school and she has shown us all such great faith. Cancer is so tough but as you know our Lord can carry us through and never leaves our side. Why you have to go through this again we may never know but know we love your sharing God’s word with us and it means a lot to me. Prayers, Chelsea
Chelsea, thank you so much for your kind message. It’s great that you and mom have kept in contact all this time! Thankfully it appears that all cancer was removed with surgery and I’m healing a little more each day. May you continue to be blessed with God’s Word through this blog. He is everything. ❤
Susie,
Thank you for writing this, for sharing your heart, your raw emotion, and your unshaken faith. This is one of the best perspectives on where God is in dark times I’ve ever read. We are holding you and your wonderful family up to our Father! How loving and gracious of him to break through heaven and earth to join us in our greatest pain.
Love you all,
Becky, Jason, and Claire
Becky, Jason and Claire, thank you! ❤ God has graciously removed all the cancer through surgery and I am getting better each day. Your prayers have meant so much to us! May God continue to give us all perspective on His plans for us. Love you guys so much ❤
What profound words Susie —- and you, singing praises in the midst of it all —- you are a bright shining light for Jesus! Sending all my love and prayers dear sister in Christ!