Writing

Sometimes when I’m praying, something comes out of my mouth that makes me pause… It makes me marvel. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in me there are times when what comes out of my mouth is not at all an original thought from me. I know it is God teaching me. He is using the words that come out of my mouth, as His words to me. Amazing because HE is the One I am speaking to.

This morning I sat by our living room window admiring the falling snow of a spring Colorado storm, thinking about God and talking to Him about the beauty outside, about things I’m thankful for, worshiping Him. Then I said, “Lord, today, help me to DO and to BE.” Wait, what did I just say? Help me to Do and to Be. Yes, that’s right, that’s what I hope for as a Believer in Jesus!

Our days can be so unbalanced sometimes. Go, go, go. We hit the ground running and at the end of it all, we drop into bed, only to start it again the next day. Life is like that. “Be still and know that I am God.” (Ps. 46:10) BUT I have this to finish, I have that to do, I don’t have time…. Time needs to be found to BE. Time needs to be found to meditate, to contemplate, to listen.

And what am I DOing, too? Is what I am doing counting for anything? Or is it just work and entertaining self… What of the Kingdom? The heart of God for the souls of people? What of that? Ephesians 2:10 is my husband Andy’s favorite verse, “For we are created in Christ Jesus to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do.” That’s the DOing that I want to be about. I want to be about the good works that my Lord has prepared, in advance mind you, for me to do. There is purpose in that.

There will always be the “regular” stuff of life, like cleaning bathrooms, and feeding the dog, and pulling weeds. But can’t those things even be done to the glory of God? Can we not do those things without a complaining heart, but a grateful one? I say yes. When the Spirit of the living God is living inside of you, He can even make a prison cell a place of worship and praise. Ask Paul. Ask Peter. Ask the Believers who are currently in prison cells in dark places around the world right now.

As humans, I don’t think we’ll ever get the balance of DOing and BEing just right. But submitting to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to speak to us, to love us, to minister to us, to teach us before we head out into the go, go, go makes all the difference in the world. It will help us to listen for His voice that enables us to BE in the middle of busyness.

BEing is deliberate. DOing is also deliberate. I think a person can go throughout their entire day and do neither. I want to BE before God and I want to DO what He has prepared for me. Awareness, a listening heart, saying no to things that steal my heart away from the Way, the Truth and the Life….

Jesus, show me what I should be doing today as I abide in You. (John 15)

– Susie Stewart

Photo taken by Susie Stewart

Deuteronomy 30:20 “…love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.”

I want to hear Him.

Listening can be difficult at times. Life gets loud and complicated. But deep calls to deep (Ps. 42:7).

Earlier today my home was quiet. I asked the Lord to speak through me as I typed my first blog on this site. I listened with my heart and I spent much time bringing thoughts and Scripture together.

Everything I typed….disappeared.

No explanation. Just gone. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t retrieve it, from my computer or from my brain.

Big, big sigh. This, my first blog on my own site, just vanished.

While I was drawing near to God, while I was listening, while I was absorbing….things took a turn. This was not the plan I had. I was going to click a button, publish those words, and there you have it. But I just couldn’t make it work…

That’s what happened to me in life. Life took a turn. Things were going along relatively smoothly. But then cancer.

I didn’t want to shift this way! I wanted things to go along the way I envisioned. Was life now clouded and dark and hard? Would the good memories of joyful times just disappear, like my typed words, as if they hadn’t happened? It really depended on my trust in the One leading me.

My Shepherd is Jesus. I know His voice.

“…His sheep follow Him because they know His voice.” John 10:4

My Shepherd promises me that He works all things for my good. He promises never to leave me or forsake me. He promises purpose for my life. I want His purposes to be mine. (Romans 8:28; Deuteronomy 31:6; Psalm 138:8)

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

Following my Shepherd even when life takes a turn, that takes pliability. Trust is key. Listening in the midst of the noise is important, and can be difficult.

“Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…” Psalm 95:7

I have come through surgery, radiation and chemo. Things are looking good at this point. I will keep clinging and praying and listening.

As I bring this new blog to you, my friends, I will be seeking HIM. I will be looking to bring words of wisdom, of encouragement, of real life. I want to be pliable as I do it. After all, I am following the Leader.

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By the way, in the middle of the night, after a bit of sleep, the first blog I wrote started coming back to me. I got out of bed, typed it up, and it will come next time. Things didn’t go the way I planned, but there was purpose in it. After all, the blog above wouldn’t have happened if things hadn’t taken a turn……

– Susie Stewart

(My blog from the last 7 months: www.mylifeline.org/susiestewart)