Writing

Suffering

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

dark-world images

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Don’t you see,
Christian?

Open your eyes,
Self.

Our call is not to
the comfortable.

We know
we see
we hear
we read
about children suffering at the hands of abusers
about homeless teenagers fending for themselves
about humans trapped in the sex slave industry
about terrorists killing and torturing
about the elderly sitting lonely with their thoughts all confused
about the poor and disadvantaged here and abroad
about suffering…..
About Suffering!

And we sit
and we think about doing something some day

and TODAY is the day of their suffering.

The present is not comfortable for them.
This day chips away at their souls
and they are left in unimaginable pain
and hunger
and lostness….

and they haven’t heard
about The Way and The Truth and The Life

because too many of us are seeking to be comfortable
instead of doing something
for at least one
TODAY.

I put it off
for when it’s convenient
and I feel like getting off this couch
and giving up my time with my screens
and not spending every weekend on pleasure….

I think about
someone else taking care of it
because the problems are overwhelmingly big
and I am just ONE.

And that child
who sits in filth
and can’t go to school
she lives with relatives
who abuse her
and don’t value
this ONE

this child grows
to find herself
selling the only thing she possesses – herself
for money to live.

She is ONE.
And she needs ONE
to love with action.

She needs the hands
and feet
of Jesus.

Wake up, Sleeper.
There is agony all around you.

Bring Jesus’ LIGHT
to at least one person
and let it be today.

And it is very possible
to look this one in the eye
in person
and to touch that hand
and to bring cool water
and Living Water
yourself
because suffering is all around you.

And sometimes you are able
to travel
to find one
or many,
and your hands and feet go
over the land
and seas
because people matter
and because you have a message of hope.

We see
we hear
we read
….and we respond.

Because we are called to rise
and act,
and
NOT
to
be comfortable.

– Susie Stewart

 

“…let us not love with words or speech, but with action and in truth.”

-1 John 3:18 (NIV)

 

“Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. Wake up from your sleep, Climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light! So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!”

-Ephesians 5:14-16 (MSG)

 

“’I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.'”

– John 14:12 (NLT)

Heaven

/ Susie Stewart / 4 Comments

 

Gazing,

because the beauty draws you.

 

You don’t want it to end,

 

that sunrise with colors unearthly

that thunderstorm dramatic and powerful

that voice of a child so angelic

that happiness with contentment deep roots

that peaceful moment so serene and filling

that rainbow with colors that can’t possibly be real

that music that stirs and pulls you in

that holding of a new life, small and precious

that embrace of genuine love…

 

You stare hard and fast,

you grasp with hands slipping,

for you know you will not be able to keep it.

 

You listen with concentrated brow

for you know it will drift off.

 

You soak up what you can

for you know it’s just a glimpse.

 

Of what?

You may not know.

 

But the beauty pierces you

and the power awakens you

and the depth is undeniable.

 

Glimpses of heaven

your home.

 

You’ve never been there,

but you long for it.

 

Everyone does,

whether they know it or not.

 

Your heart tells you

that what makes your heart leap

and takes your breath away

and stirs the deepest parts

is just a glimpse

of home.

 

Find,

seek,

run after for goodness sakes,

the God who put eternity in your heart.

 

He has made your home ready.

– Susie Stewart

 

My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

– John 14:2-4 (NIV)

 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

– Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

 

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.

– Philippians 3:20 (NIV)

 

Photo taken by Susie Stewart

Unworthy

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

A step back.

That’s what you take.

Unworthiness still plagues you
even though your head
is full of that redemption knowledge.

And regret,
and shame,
and averted eyes
prevent you from approaching His throne,
from whispering His holy Name….
And then you remember
unworthy was made Worthy

and it’s all because of Divine love
and sacrifice
and new birth.
His worthiness clothed you in righteousness.
And it was meant to take your shame
your fear
your hesitancy
your not enough.
A gift without merit
bestowing merit.
And you received it.
And you forgot.
Run child!
Run toward your Father,
who runs toward you,
with daddy arms open,
always ready to embrace.

You are Worthy

because He loved you
enough to give all
to redeem you.

Realize and actualize.

Be unencumbered
as you move out boldly
as a child
unconditionally loved.

– Susie Stewart

 

But now you have arrived at your destination: By faith in Christ you are in direct relationship with God. Your baptism in Christ was not just washing you up for a fresh start. It also involved dressing you in an adult faith wardrobe—Christ’s life, the fulfillment of God’s original promise.
– Galatians 3:26, 27 (MSG)

 

I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of His righteousness…
– Isaiah 61:10 (NLT)

 

Photo taken by Andy Stewart

First

/ Susie Stewart / 3 Comments

 

FIRST

then second.

It started with decisions

                              His decisions

Because He has always been LOVE,

                                                  I was loved

and then….

He created

the Universe, heaven and earth, people and creatures,
All of it

And I was conceived
through His love

And He saw me

And I was born into this broken world

I grew

and I chose Him
but He had actually chosen me

My eternal life began
and I started to love Him

I trusted Him
I trust Him

and my life-dance has been stumbling through this broken world

and my own brokenness

and also
standing tall in victory

He has been
my Constant
my Encouragement
my Light
my Salvation
my Hope
my Love
my Rock

And I see Him
in people’s eyes
in the sun rising and falling
in the vivid flowers
in marriage
in children

miraculously
all around

And His love in my heart
is the filter with which
I see the world
and the brokenness
and the beauty

I allow His Light to reveal every corner
even when it uncovers
ugliness
pain
brokenness

and I know
Because I have seen

that
He redeems
and
He makes new

And I want Him First

intentionally
lovingly
obediently

with the flow of romance
and honesty
and listening
and connecting

and above all

His will be done

no matter what.

He is FIRST

Because He first loved me.
Because that is the place He deserves.
Because only then am I satisfied.
Because there is my joy.

And
people
jobs
entertainment
ministry

all of it

fade to second
Very second

in light of my relationship with Him

He knew me first

He is

FIRST.

– Susie Stewart

Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes.

-Ephesians 1:4 (NLT)

You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit…

-John 15:16 (NLT)

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb….”

– Jeremiah 1:5 (NLT)

Jesus answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.

– Matthew 22:37 (CEV)

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

– Romans 8:38, 39 (NLT)

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

– Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

The Truth

/ Susie Stewart / 6 Comments

 

The tension.

It’s everywhere.

The battle is seen, and yet so unseen.

 

And my heart longs to really see each one.

 

And each one wants to be seen.

 

The aggressor, the victim, the marginalized, the misunderstood, the confused, the angry, the hurt,

the human.

 

And I seek HIM.

 

I seek the One who sees all the earth,

and all the people,

and how we are falling apart

and ripping apart at the seams.

 

How we are lashing out at one another,

and hurting one another,

and self-destructing,

 

and blaming Him.

 

And He knows each heart.

Because He is love.

 

And when He walked this earth,

Immanuel,

He looked out at the masses

and He had compassion, and His heart broke.

We were harassed and helpless,

like sheep without a Shepherd.

 

There was a battle

and He knew it.

 

And the battle was not with flesh and blood – with people against people –

but the real battle was spiritual.

 

Spiritual forces,

angelic and demonic,

Deity and satanic,

locked in combat.

Good versus evil.

 

And there was,

and there IS,

a battle for the human mind and heart.

 

Confusion,

hatred,

discord,

violence,

abuse,

isolation,

dullness,

compromise,

doubt,

fear….

 

Truth came in human form,

and He saw through it all.

 

And He had compassion,

and He condemned those that claimed to have the corner market on truth

without truth.

 

And He stood up to temptation

 

with His sights on the goal

 

and He reached the goal

 

and He was silenced……………..

 

And humanity went on with their day

and their next

and their next

not knowing that a precious,

and holy,

and sacred

sacrifice

had been made for each of them.

 

Out of love.

For He is Love.

 

And when my Jesus,

my Jesus,

walked out of that tomb,

He had heaven’s glow.

For the weight of the world,

the weight of sin,

the sting of death,

and condemnation for wrong-doing,

had been conquered with that act.

 

And He had made it so simple!

Follow Him, trust Him, believe that

He

is the only One to save.

 

And He invited everyone to the table.

 

Everyone.

 

And He invited everyone to drink deep of His love and wisdom.

And He invited everyone to freedom from the harassment of evil.

And He invited everyone to walk in truth.

 

Truth.

 

He validated the O.T. writings.

He fulfilled the law.

God with us.

Holiness was finally satisfied with this one act,

perfect,

necessary.

 

And before Jesus

ascended heavenward before their eyes,

He charged His followers with unwavering commitment.

He warned His followers that they would be treated badly,

because although He conquered death,

the battle raged on seen and unseen.

 

Because now it was a race against time

before the end,

 

and the glorious beginning.

 

Evil knew this.

 

And a small contingent of humans

started the word

about the Word,

Indwelled by Spirit,

holy and wise.

 

And people,

all

of the people that were born into this world,

were loved by He who formed them

and who is Love.

 

And the weight of sin on this world,

and the attacks unseen,

and the choices made

that don’t follow He who is Truth,

cause the mind to battle

and cause the enemy to double-up forces

and cause brother to be against brother

 

and looking up

is what we need.

 

And we stare at our feet,

stuck and mired in mud.

 

And we embrace life in the mess.

 

And we go with the crowd.

 

And we delight in our rebellion.

 

And we are unaware….

 

That we are meant to be kept in the dark

by those who are darkness.

And that light and Light are pursuing

and offering a way out

to freedom.

 

And this man, Jesus, who mingled among us,

walked humbly and boldly,

a beautiful combination.

 

Sinners were the ones He moved in and through life with.

But He always offered His righteous hand,

to pull them out of being stuck.

 

Some would grab hold,

some would refuse.

 

And that is still the case.

 

You know the truth.

Know the Truth.

Be set free.

– Susie Stewart

 

“…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free….if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.”

– John 8:32, 36 (NLT)

What IF?

/ Susie Stewart / 4 Comments

What IF

we really decided

this day

to love the Lord our God

with all our heart

with all our soul

with all our mind

with all our strength?

What would that look like?

And are we brave enough to peer into that potential world?

Would we….

Shout His name when we felt like it?

Take better care of the vessel in which His Spirit dwells?

Actually put Him first like we say we do?

Admire and take notice of all that He has lovingly created more often?

Go where He asks us to?  No matter what?

Look at each person as someone He loves?

Praise and thank Him when our hearts are broken and our faces are stained with tears?

Actually not complain about our circumstances?

Love His body, the church, more?

Take walks just to be alone and talk with Him?

Bow to thank him for a meal in public?

Bring glory to His Name by the way we live, speak, and what we put into our minds?

Run to Him in true repentance when we have wronged Him?

Not feel like we need to lower our voices when speaking about Him around people?

Turn to Him first, instead of a person?

Go to sleep thinking about and talking to Him?

Wake up thinking about and talking to Him?

Write Him a letter of love?

Love people with effort because that is what He called us to do?

Be intentional about time with Him?

Honor Him with our marriage and family?

Fall to our knees before Him more?

Not allow things into our minds that are against Him?

Listen for His truth?

Read His love letter to us often and hold it close to our heart?

Not go with the crowd, but go with Him, even if no one else is following?

Tell people about how much He means to us?

Tell people about the difference He has made in our lives?

Tell people about how He allowed His spotless self to be crucified for all of us?

Tell people that even the grave couldn’t keep Him down?

Just open up our sealed lips and tell people??

Because HE

is worth loving

and respecting

and honoring

and praising

and worshiping

with all our Heart

with all our Mind

with all our Soul

with all our Strength.

– Susie Stewart

* These are just a few drops in a vast ocean of ways to love God with everything we are.  I’m going to continue to ask God for ways that I can do this better.  Want to join me in that?  There is no more fulfilling relationship you can have than the one with your Creator.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.

– Luke 10:27 (NIV)

Photo taken by Susie Stewart

Gentle & Humble

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

 

“Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart…” Matthew 11:29

 

Gentle and Humble

This is His heart.

 

I read it, but I can’t grasp it.

 

The words bring a calmness to my thoughts

bring a warmth to my spirit.

 

Two little words

make an impact

in a loud and quiet way.

 

I ponder.

 

But…

 

Is this even possible?

God is humble?

 

He is gentle and humble to His very depths,

in His heart?

 

I ask Him how this can be?

Teach me, Lord, because I can’t wrap my brain around this.

 

And He leads me to make a list.

 

WHAT HUMILITY IS NOT:

~Arrogant

~Pushy

~Obnoxious

~Controlling

 

Humility is the absence of those things.

 

You, Jesus, gave of your time to people

who were less than lovely

who had no prestige

who reeked of sickness and disease

who were unappreciative

who just didn’t get it.

 

You gave of Yourself until You were spent completely and humbly,

absolutely nothing more more to sacrifice…

 

And when I’m yoked to You in life,

attached to You intimately,

I sense that You are leading

and carrying the brunt of the weight

and that you challenge me and confront me

but it is done lovingly

not with arrogance

or obnoxiousness

 

But with the heart of the One

who washed dirty feet unexpected

and stood up for a prostitute’s dignity

and loved to be with children

and is a Shepherd to all of us lambs

 

And I know that I am in the presence of true humility and gentleness

because I don’t feel

the condemnation

the squinted eyes of judgment

the snide and sarcastic remarks

the heavy hand of false self-righteousness

the stab of hurtful words

 

I feel that You, Jesus,

want to lead me in paths of righteousness

by streams of cool water

to the Rock

to truth and wisdom

to be humble and gentle….

 

Because that is what You are.

– Susie Stewart

 

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.'” Matthew 11:28-30

 

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Grace

/ Susie Stewart / Leave a comment

Your grace, Lord, it washes over everything.

Your grace

revives

and reminds

and lifts

up.

Your grace finds me

wherever I am.

Your grace takes the things unsettled

and speaks peace over them.

Your grace takes a confined space

and creates a wide open expanse.

Your grace opens squeezed tight eyes

and awakens them with renewed perspective.

Your grace blankets darkness

and brings newness and light.

Your grace takes tears

and holds them lovingly in cupped hands.

 Your grace completely shatters condemnation.

Completely.

Your grace invites in

opens up

renews

energizes.

Your grace cost You so much….

and You give it freely.

Your grace means everything.

Multiply it

through me.

– Susie Stewart

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

– Acts 20:24 (NLT)

Photo taken by Susie Stewart

Inadequate

/ Susie Stewart / 2 Comments

 

“We are all inadequate, Mama…”

 

The words sliced through me.

 

I paused my carrying on.

 

Of course.

We all are.

 

 

My college girl had called to talk

and the conversation had turned heavy.

I was struggling

and it was late

and emotions seemed to be spilling over unwanted.

 

I was struggling with a weight I shouldn’t have been carrying

listening to voices that spoke

of my lack of worth

lack of strength

lack of knowledge

lack of adequacy….

for being the person He called me to be

in ministry

in family

in life.

 

I poured out my heart to my daughter all grown.

She listened to it all

including the part where I said,

“I just feel so inadequate in this role sometimes….”

 

Then the words I didn’t expect.

 

“We are all inadequate, Mama….”

 

Crickets.

 

“It’s only through God that we can do any of this.”

 

I realized that I had been wallowing in a cess pool of emotion

about how I wasn’t measuring up.

I had been thinking

and processing

and assessing

 

my abilities

my personality

my mistakes

my

my

my

 

It wasn’t about me

and I had lost sight of that.

 

All throughout Scripture the Lord had shown me

how He works through the weak

the unlikely

the small

the unsure

the messed up

the perfectly inadequate human

who surrendered to His plans

 

and said YES

 

to the One who does the impossible

the miraculous

the detailed

the amazing

the over and above adequate!

 

And uses the inadequate.

 

Because that’s what He does.

 

He is God

and I am not

and as long as I surrender

and surrender again

and surrender again

to His remarkable Spirit leading me,

then His role in me

is more than adequate.

 

Sometimes things are reversed

and the child is the parent

and the parent is the child.

And sometimes wisdom comes from a young heart,

fresh and true.

 

I won’t soon forget these words of wisdom.

 

And I will speak them back to her

 

when the voices

that are not His

tell her she is inadequate.

– Susie Stewart

 

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Photos taken by Susie Stewart

All I Want

/ Susie Stewart / 2 Comments

Psalm 23

You brought it to me afresh this morning, Lord.

Your Word is alive, and breathing, and pulsing with light and voice and power.

How many times have I read this passage since I was young?

And the more I know You, Lord, the more precious these words become.

I allow these words to sit, and take root, and fill.

I allow them in deep, and I echo them back to You.

 

My Shepherd, You provide everything I need.  Only You.  May I not want for anything outside of what You desire to give, or outside of Your wise counsel.  I have contentment in You.

 

My Shepherd, You let me rest.  This world knows little of rest.  But in You I rest in green meadows, in my mind, in my heart.  That is where I find you, my God of restoration.

 

My Shepherd, You take my hand and lead me beside the peaceful streams.  The sound and motion are healing to my soul.  You have taken me there because I need it.

 

My Shepherd, You make me strong again when I succumb to weakness.  Just by You being there I feel strengthened for the next leg of the journey.  Your words bring energy.

 

My Shepherd, You guide me along the wise path.  Following Your guidance in doing the right thing brings honor to You, and that is what I want.  Help me not to wander.

 

My Shepherd, there are some very dark times, when I am low, when I am suffering, when death shadows over me.  I need not fear because You never leave my side.  I am comforted and strengthened by Your presence.  You breathe life and light into me.

 

My Shepherd, You carry a rod and a staff.  Even though they are used to guide and discipline me, I am comforted because I know You will keep me safe from consequences and pain.  You are seeking to protect me from having to deal with the aftermath of bad choices.

 

My Shepherd, You are bold and Your parental love for me does not let my enemies gloat over me.  You lift my head and You feed me the best of what You have in the company of those who would harm me.  I am not intimidated by them.

 

My Shepherd, You actually honor me with anointing oil.  I am humbled as You serve me with a gentle and humble heart.  You anoint, and intercede, and bless. A sacred understanding passes between us.

 

My Shepherd, my life and heart overflow with Your graciousness to me.  You never tire of blessing me.  It’s as if I’m holding a cup and You’ve forgotten to stop pouring into it, and all manner of glory flows over the sides and onto the path I am taking.

 

My Shepherd, I know You pursue me with Your goodness and Your love that never fails.  May I always feel the warmth of Your presence behind me, because my pace allows You to catch up with me.  There is not a day that goes by that You are not pursuing me.

 

My Shepherd, You are here with me on earth and You have prepared a place for me in Heaven.  You dwell inside of me here and I will dwell with you there, beautifully for always.

 

And You, My Shepherd, will have lead me on the path, and by way of the meadow, and beside the stream, into eternity.

 

My Shepherd, You are all I want.

– Susie Stewart

____________________________________________________

 

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to His name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for You are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

(NLT)